7. The city burns!

As I write this things look bleak. I'm down to my last mouthful of beer and it's pouring with rain outside, meaning that instead of a sortie to the beer shop, I may have to resort to room service and the premium of convenience. Either way, to celebrate the heavy rain and the lack of burning rubbish, today's sunglasses that would be foolish to wear (because of the lack of sun and because they do look a bit silly) are the alien, made by Newwearing, an 'up and coming' maker of designer glasses.

So Naples. It's been a year since I was here and I really thought I'd remembered what it was like. I remembered the lively hustle and bustle, the parking in the middle of streets, the street vendors flogging Sony Viaos and mobile phones and even the uncollected rubbish. So this was what I was expecting when I got off the train from the quiet oasis that was Caserta. What I found was what I'd remembered, only more so.

The uncollected rubbish problem has got worse and the smell is quite unbearable in some parts. With rubbish piled up on street corners, it's a common site to see pedestrians walk by with tissues / garments over their noses. I hear it's worse in the suburbs where there aren't any tourists. Bus drivers are threatening to go on strike because in some places four lane roads are down to one lane owing to a build up of rubbish. There're also the regular burnings. On Sunday alone, two vast piles were set ablaze. One I witnessed at close range (the remains of which with new rubbish on top and charred bins can be seen here) with flames reaching 30 feet. The picture doesn't look much here but unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me during the actual burning. It really was big. Believe me. The second I could easily make out from my hotel window - over 500 metres away.

And 'Where are the fire brigade?', you might wonder. Well, so did I. Surely huge fires in public squares filled with cars, people and flammable material would warrant a visit from the fire putter-outers. Well normally it would, but I saw on the news that they were all busy in the suburbs putting out the burning rubbish mounds there. Still, at least it cleared the roads and allows people to hang out their washing [see final picture below].

But on I go about the rubbish when this is a side issue. All I mean to say is that it's got worse, but everyone kind of accepts it. I've even stopped noticing it. As it's everywhere you just take it as normal and get on with it. A bit like signal failures on the Tube, I suppose. But along with that there's the lively joie de vivre of Naples and the seeming understated sense of agreed chaotic anarchy that everyone just seems to get along with. Before I came out, a colleague was singing the praises of Naples calling it the most South American city in Europe. Not having been to South America yet, I can only guess what it's like, but if early memories of Herbie Goes Bananas are anything to go by, then he's right. Only fewer Volkswagons and more Fiats. What a place.

One of the hardest things to get used to here is crossing the road. There are pedestrian crossings but no one seems to use them. The standard procedure to cross the road is just to walk out in front of traffic and blithely hope for them to stop in time. The best I can liken it to is the scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where Jones is about to pass the penultimate test to get to the Holy Grail and has to step out into a chasm, believing an unseen path to be there. It's kind of the same. You can easily spot visitors not used to the system as they stand at the side of the road waiting ages for cars to stop - which they almost never do, except when they're parking in the middle of the road, which is when they'll use their hazard lights. But only once they've stopped. Can you imagine what would happen in the UK if you did any of this?

Anyway, Naples is Naples and there are some jolly things to see and do, some of which I'll write about tomorrow or after.

On the examining front, no cakes or snacks yet this week. I did get coffee and water, though. Times are hard. Still, a different examining centre tomorrow so I'm ever hopeful. I'm also staying in a hotel with four new examiner recruits. One recognised me at breakfast yesterday (as I was quickly filling up on scrambled eggs before dashing for my bus) and before I knew it, I had four women, who were about to embark upon their first day's examining, surrounding me (not such an uncommon experience, obviously), three of them rather senior in years (more uncommon, I also hope, obviously). If it hadn't been for the fact that they were questioning me on exam procedure, I'd have thought I was trapped in some kind of P G Wodehouse episode surrounded by vicious aunts. Thankfully there've been no accidental engagements yet. Still, the night is young and the stars romantic, etc, etc.

On a final note today, for those that were wondering, I did call room service as it's still raining.