13. And she talks!

The weather in the south has been a touch on and off (that is sun and cloud rather than sun and rain) meaning that today's ocular wear is designed to compensate for the varying degrees of sun. For that reason, we've gone foe the eye patch, as pictured, and as worn by pirates and bon viveurs throughout the centuries.

But onto Italy. Regular readers will be aware that I was in the middle of nowhere, trying to make polite, conversation with my local liaison in Benevento. Up to yesterday, communication was proving most difficult, with short responses of 'yes', to the most engaging of of opening gambits, like "I hear rain is forecast...". My challenge was to get more than mono-syllabic utterances out of the teacher, and my work finally paid off. On the final day, leaving the hotel with my bags Marie asked where I was going to next. "Naples", I said. "Aghhhh. Napoli. Is a crazy place. I can'ta standa ita". This was the opening I was looking for. A few light questions about the traffic and rubbish problem brought forth a whole internal dialogue about problems with driving there and the noise, pollution, etc.

Having exhausted the topic of pollution, I thought I'd go out on a limb:

Ben: But as I was leaving the hotel, I noticed the small of the wild rosemary from the local church [check me!]

Marie: Ahhhh. Rosemary. It's so beautiful! I looooove the smell of rosemary. [etc. etc.]

As it happens, I stumbled across to topics in a single car journey after having endured none for the previous two days. Success was achieved.

While planning how I could continue the conversation on the return leg, I learnt that it would be a different teacher driving me back to the station. This didn't concern me, as my goal had been achieved. At least it didn't concern me until I got into the car with the driver. The woman seemed to have as much control over the car as a seven-year-old with an Alsatian. While trying not to make my concerns felt about over taking on corners, drifting onto the wrong side of mountain roads and simply failing to brake until being within metres of traffic ahead, the teacher sometimes tried to engage me. How the tables had turned. The conversation wasn't the problem, but the fact that when the teacher turned to speak to me, she also pointed the car in the same direction, was. Especially when there was oncoming traffic and it was only a sudden lurch back to the left that averted certain death or serious injury. To add insult to near injury, the teacher had Elton John on the stereo, too. I don't know if it was for her benefit or mine, but I certainly wasn't going with the whole 'Hakuna Matata' on that trip. Good gad.

Anyway, obviously I survived and got back to Naples for a final day of examining, only to have to fail a load of candidates who couldn't understand what I was saying. The fact that lots of people fail when I've had a bad night's sleep is starting to seem to me more than just coincidence... Nevermind.

The picture of the arch you see above is one of the school wheat models made for the annual wheat festival I mentioned in the previous blog. By clicking on the image and enlarging it, you too will be able to see the fabulous detail the locals have put into this truly organic masterpiece.

Anyway, tomorrow it's the early train to Rome and the final blog installment. Bet you can hardly wait.