It’s the hottest day of the tour so far (coming in at 33 degrees) and to celebrate the fact, we’ve got some high spec specs for today’s featured blog. The classy numbers pictured are the Infamous Italian Polarised Sunglasses by Arnette. Quite the thing, no?
Before I go onto Benvento, an update on the gambits I’m employing to lure the local teacher liaison (Marie) into conversation during the 20-minute drive to and from the examining centre. I was feeling a little tired this morning (strange dreams about houses in Blackpool preventing a thoroughly decent night’s sleep) and so wasn’t up to the challenge quite so much. I did, however, start with an old favourite: the weather. It was already pretty hot at 08:30 and so I thought I’d remark upon this and ask how long the weather would hold. The answer I got was, “yes” [stop]. Now, there can be several explanations for this:
1. The teacher’s grasp of English is so poor that she just feels all she can say is ‘yes’, in an effort to cover up her ignorance [this I don’t believe, as she’d explained some examining information to me the day before in sufficient upper-intermediate detail]
2. She was tired of my gambits and was just replying ‘yes’ in an effort to accommodate my relentless baiting for conversation [this I also don’t believe, as the ‘yes’ responses started from the very first gambit, and she could hardly have got tired of me before I started speaking, could she?]
3. She wasn’t listening.
If it was the third option, then I really was in for an uphill struggle, as first I’d have to get her to listen before I could even engage her in the sparkling small-talk that was scintillating in the discourse before her. And so the journey to the centre was passed in silence, with only a passing question about the unusual
architecture of a passing church. The response was so passing that it could’ve been passed without notice. The return leg prompted her to ask about the candidates. Obviously worried about their performance, she let me know that it was the students’ choice rather than the teachers’ to decide who should be entered for the exam. Not that it really mattered, as after 5 ½ hours of the same grade, my mind had ceased to function (like the pictured cat's) and I could only think of yellow flowers as I dribbled spasmodically out of
the corner of my mouth and onto my collar. Why yellow? I cannot say, I only know that I had an awareness of the fact that everybody had passed; although an awareness was all it was. I did ask about Benevento and what one could do with a few hours spare and the response was brevity itself. You can look at the arch [pictured], the anfiteatro [long since closed and not accessible] or go to the museum [always closed]. There was, however, a modern art museum near the park, should I be interested. I feigned interest, just to be polite, but I think the chances of
looking at some splodges of snot on a maroon canvas are between non-existent and pretty remote. However, I do have a half day tomorrow and as I’ve already taken in both the arch (both at day and night) and the anfiteatro (from a distance), it seems there’s little else in the sightseeing catalogue to do. However, for those of you not able to get here, I've learnt that the ever caring British kindly relieved the locals of some of the reliefs from the arch and removed them to the British museum - well, it's only polite to help others look after their own history, wouldn't you say? What a relief!
I could, of course, just sit out on the roof terrace and read while knocking back
the local Peroni [as you see pictured]. I’ve already spent a good amount of time doing this as it affords a valuable opportunity to dry one’s clothes (see shirt hanging up behind me), and nibble on some snacks from the local supermercato, thus saving the trouble of having to go out to a restaurant for lunch / dinner yet again. Another option is to spend some more time with the other examiner staying here. Yes, there’s another one here too. When I first arrived, I was sure the hotel was completely empty bar for me. However, breakfast revealed a Trinity examiner in his first year. From his wild-eyed look and trembling hands, I gathered at once that he’d been alone here for some time. This deduction turned out to be correct and so, wishing to be sociable, I arranged dinner that evening with him, whereupon we set out to a local trattoria for evening sustenance. While we did polish off a couple of bottles of the house white between us, he did strike me as being a little less on the enthusiastic side of life / work than other examiners I’ve encountered on this tour. Still, everybody likes to have a good whinge about life, work, transport, countries, bosses, the weather, , inter-planetary motions, the universe, etc. every now and then, especially when facilitated by house white. Lovely. Can't wait till tomorrow night. I wonder if there are any there are any topics left - perhaps I can try a few conversational gambits...
So there we have it. Benevento. I’m sure there’ll be more to write about tomorrow while there’s free internet access available here at the hotel.
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